Mean Moms
Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:
I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart. But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Immigration Made Simple
Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.
Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.
Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.
Let's say I break into your house.
Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave.
But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors. I've done all the things you don't like to do.
I'm hardworking and honest (except for when I broke into your house).
According to the protesters:
* You are Required to let me stay in your house
* You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
* You are Required to Educate my kids
* You are Required to Provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do all of your yard work because he is also
hardworking and honest, except for that breaking in part).
* If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there.
* It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hardworking and honest, person, except
for well, you know, I did break into your house.
And what a deal it is for me!!!
I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of having cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior. Oh yeah, I DEMAND that you to learn MY LANGUAGE so you can communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous this is! Only in America .....If you agree, pass it on (in English). Share it if you see the value of it.
If not blow it off......... along with your future Social Security funds, and a lot of other things.
And while we're at it how's 'bout that new amnest er uh immigration reform bill?
Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.
Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.
Let's say I break into your house.
Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave.
But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors. I've done all the things you don't like to do.
I'm hardworking and honest (except for when I broke into your house).
According to the protesters:
* You are Required to let me stay in your house
* You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
* You are Required to Educate my kids
* You are Required to Provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do all of your yard work because he is also
hardworking and honest, except for that breaking in part).
* If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there.
* It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hardworking and honest, person, except
for well, you know, I did break into your house.
And what a deal it is for me!!!
I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of having cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior. Oh yeah, I DEMAND that you to learn MY LANGUAGE so you can communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous this is! Only in America .....If you agree, pass it on (in English). Share it if you see the value of it.
If not blow it off......... along with your future Social Security funds, and a lot of other things.
And while we're at it how's 'bout that new amnest er uh immigration reform bill?
New Math
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this?Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
1. Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
2. Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1970: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is$80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is$80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990: A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish andinconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of$20.
What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds andsquirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers )
6. Teaching Math In 2006: Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de laproducciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
'Nuff said.
1. Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
2. Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1970: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is$80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is$80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990: A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish andinconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of$20.
What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds andsquirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers )
6. Teaching Math In 2006: Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de laproducciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
'Nuff said.
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